To Keep On Breathing

I'm tired, I'm worn.

My heart is heavy

from the work it takes

to keep on breathing.

So begins the song, "Worn," by Tenth Avenue North, which came to mind as I left my Dad's hospital room tonight.  I'll fly home to Texas tomorrow after spending the last 8 days here in Phoenix with my Mom and Dad.  Those first lyrics seem especially fitting, as the good news of the last couple days is that my Dad spent over 20 hours breathing on his own, without the aid of the ventilator!  This indicates returning strength and responsiveness in his lungs and is a critical step in his recovery.  The not-so-good news was that some of those hours were too much at once so he ended up pretty exhausted by "the work it takes to keep on breathing."  Ensuing conversations with his doctors and nurses have us moving forward with a more gradual and manageable plan for weaning him off the ventilator.  This process of his body healing itself is bumpy and slow.  So we'll all be pacing ourselves.

My soul feels crushed 

by the weight of this world

You've been praying, calling, sending cards, and posting messages of encouragement because you know that this journey has been and will be hard.  Not just for my Dad, but for all of us - especially my Mom.  She's carrying a pretty crushing weight right now.  Your continued support of her from near and far, and your ongoing prayers are so appreciated.  

It's the chorus of the song, though, that spoke to me in a new way as I thought about my Dad's illness:

Let me see redemption win.

Let me know the struggle ends,

that you can mend a heart 

that's frail and torn.

I wanna know a song can rise

from the ashes of a broken life,

and all that's dead inside can be reborn.

'Cause I'm worn.

As we wait, all of us together, for this struggle to end, for deadened nerves inside to be reborn, for a song to rise from the ashes of a broken life - we cling to the promise of redemption.  We put our trust in the God who is continually redeeming every worn, weary, broken, devastated, desperate corner of his creation.  God's working redemption.  One nerve, one breath, at a time.

-Amy